Have you ever been to a gathering, and a woman walks in the room who you’re drawn to?

You don’t know anything about her, but her energy is so big and vibrant that it draws you in.

It doesn’t matter what she looks like. You don’t notice her dress size, the color of her hair, quality of her clothes, ethnicity or educational background.  You feel drawn to her presence.

I have found myself in this situation, on several occasions.

And the thing I’ve discovered is that they all have a few things in common:

  • Living as their authentic selves, not what others expect them to be
  • Great posture which comes from a quiet sense of confidence
  • A glow from the inside.  It shows up in their bright eyes and sincere smile
  • A humble history of service or philanthropy.  When we give what we have, we 10x what we receive
  • A lust for life.  Travel and adventure increases our understanding and tolerance. What was once unfamiliar or scary to us, becomes a familiar memory.
  • They can identify commonalities with anyone

“WOW!  I wish I could be more like that woman”, one might think.

And to them I say, “then go be that woman”.

See, I used to live by the story of “I’m busy”.  And I felt busy all day and at night I felt so tired, I had nothing left.

You see, being busy meant I wasn’t lazy.  Being perceived as lazy or unambitious has always terrified me. Because then I wouldn’t be worthy.  (according to the beliefs assigned to me)

I come from a long line of hard working people and learned that anything I wanted I had to work hard for and earn.

I worked myself to the bone and never got ahead. I never went without but I burnt out. By the time I was in my mid 30’s, I was so mentally and physically stressed I was unable to become pregnant.

And then the Universe did for me, as it does, what I couldn’t do for myself.  It slowed me down.  At 39 I gave birth to my one and only and it changed my life.

I realized my true worth as a parent.  I recreated  myself and started a new career in fitness. I opened my own gym, in my home where I could make my own hours around my son’s needs.  I worked full time, was a single parent and an athlete who always had an event to train for.

I woke up at 4am to get 5 miles on the treadmill before the baby woke up. I could swim at lunch time and teach a few spin classes a week for extra income.

We took road trips to Yosemite, Sea World, the Redwood Forest, and Lake Tahoe. We spent a few days in Monterey where Charlie had his first scuba dive lesson at the aquarium.

We celebrated milestones, we kept care packages in the car to give to homeless people when we saw them.

Later we traveled to Las Vegas, Salt Lake City, Ft Lauderdale, Maui, Madrid and Barcelona.  We took a road trip and hiked the National Parks in Utah and Arizona. One Christmas we took a detour to NYC and ice skated in Central Park. We saw the rockettes perform at Rockefeller Center in the Holiday Extravaganza. We played in FAO Schwartz and admired the festive window dressings of the department stores on Fifth Avenue.

We spent every Christmas traveling to New England to spend holidays with family.  We made beautiful memories and developed strong family bonds.

There were so many stories I could’ve told myself, “I’m a single Mom and sole provider”, “I can’t afford it”, “those adventures aren’t for people like us”, etc.

But that would’ve kept me playing small.

Rather I said, “why not us!!”.  And we found a way to enjoy incredible experiences together. We also learned some things about ourselves along the way, for sure.

He’s 21 now and thriving as a student, a human and an employee.

I moved to New England to be closer to family, built my dream home and am living a very simple life:

  • I cook all my meals at home
  • Shop at local farms for fresh produce and farm raised meat
  • Strength train 3 days a week and ride my bike trainer 3 days a week
  • Most days I walk in the woods 3-5 miles with my man and my dog
  • Every morning before electronics I do breath work, yoga, journaling and meditation
  • I take hot baths and cold showers several times a week
  • Have dinner with my siblings at least once a month and am reunited with my best friend of 40 years
  • I donate some of my free time to charitable causes
  • Travel 2x a year to someplace inspiring
  • I’ve run my business for 20 years now and am so inspired by the incredible women I get to call my clients.

I’m not “busy” anymore.

I have created an abundant life and my days are “full”.  Full of gratitude, loving kindness, and the beauty I choose to focus on.

So being “that woman” can be whatever you define it to be.

But don’t settle.

Let your intentions and your dreams inspire you to take bold action.  Create what you want even if those around you don’t approve.

This is your big, bold, wild life.

And you are the sum of your actions, not your desires.

I’d love to hear in the comments how this resonates with you or inspires you.